All of us screw up. And if you don’t think you make mistakes you probably need a good shaking. (Am I allowed to say that?) We have all had those times where we forgot to follow up on a lead and the competition secured them. Or we had too big an ego to listen to that property about the activation we wanted to do and they suggested not… and it failed miserably. Or we forgot to inform staff support about something and the venue was not ready. Or opened our mouth and put our foot in it in front of ALL the wrong people.
So, when do we deserve a second chance… or are we doomed to be banished? An error or mistake that eats away at trust or seriously undermines you or your organization’s credibility must be seriously considered. When we choose not to “grant the second chance” basically the existing relationship ends. That person no longer works for you or that sponsor is no longer one etc. Without a second chance the existing relationship is gone. But if we automatically “give them a second chance” (or more) is this foolhardy? What must they do to earn the second chance – if anything?
This is where I anecdotally polled some industry leaders (Ok not really polling as such… when I was having coffee with them or lunch or a Zoom call I dove into this topic….). I asked them how they handled such situations and I found great insight and learning in some of these responses. Here are some of my key take aways…
- If the situation is dire, like it negatively affects the team or a client is lost, then there is no “second chance”… the relationship with that person or entity must end. But as one person noted you need to make sure you are making an example of the right person or persons. Sometimes the front-line person gets terminated but in digging deeper you discover their superior or their superior’s superior failed to disseminate some critical information which caused the front-line person to make a grave error that they got fired for. Now are you willing to fire that VP as well? If not, that is a pretty lousy double standard system you run!! So, when not granting a “second chance” make sure you are disciplining the right person and also that it would be the same discipline to anyone in the organization, not just the “expendable one” at the coordinator level.
- When you do grant a second chance… that person who has erred needs to have some sort of “stake in this game”. If you as a leader are granting forgiveness (though it feels great to offer unconditional forgiveness), there needs to be conditions. Perhaps those are that this person apologizes and is genuinely remorseful. Or it could be that they need to undertake further training to ensure this sort of thing does not happen again. Or perhaps it is a plan together between the leader granting the forgiveness and the person seeking the “second chance” to not only rectify but also clean up the situation.
- The error maker should always have to acknowledge the mistake and commit to avoiding a repeat in the future. As one person put it, “getting a precise promise not to make the same mistake ever again is a base requirement” but the question is how do you truly enforce / monitor that? As the ultimate “granter of second chances” we have to be assured that the “error maker” is not only sincere in their desire to never “do it again” but you need to believe they are capable of delivering on that promise. Without that trust, you will be granting third and fourth chances most likely! And that will truly create further damage to your existing relationship with that person.
- As one leader pointed out and I found this very impactful; ‘once you have granted the second chance it must come back to ground zero. All must be forgiven and forgotten’. When you continue to bring up the past error or place that person in the doghouse for eternity over this single event, they become sour and disaffected. And as we all know, no one delivers great results when there is a cloud of doom, distrust and suspicion hanging over them.
So tell me… how do you handle “second chances” as either a receiver or giver of those second chances?
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