Have you ever thought about your social media network? How many people are you linked to on LinkedIn? How many followers on Facebook or Twitter? Now, really think about it. How many of those people do you really know? More importantly, how close are you to them? How often do you interact with them?

If they don’t want to communicate with you, they will opt out. For instance, on LinkedIn, when I find a contact is constantly bombarding me with group in-mails about their offers or opportunities (disguised as content or stories), I remove them from my contact list. It’s sort of like in real life. If a certain acquaintance is constantly showing up at my house asking me for stuff, or at my business trying to sell me products I don’t want or need, then I do what I can to avoid them. The nice thing about social media is you can just unfriend them, remove them from your network, or block them!

For the older folks on here, I look at social media like having a Rolodex. If the people in that old Rolodex or stack of business cards is never fostered and communicated with, then it will go stale. People will lose interest in you. They will try to remember where they know you from when you do eventually reach out to them—asking for something you need or want. This is not the best approach to nurturing a relationship. I see this all the time on LinkedIn. People ask me to join their network, then two or three years later when they are unemployed, they reach out to me for the first time. Or there are the people who ask me to connect with them, and as soon as I do, they tell me they are looking for a job and can I help. That is sort of like meeting for the first time at a luncheon event, and at the end of lunch, asking me to find you a job!

I am not an expert on social media overall. I am when it comes to sponsorship programs, but when looking at social media overall, there are lots of specialists. Here some things I do and some tips/ideas that have worked for me. I am going to be specific to LinkedIn because that is my primary platform.

• First, only be on the number of platforms that you can truly manage. It’s no good if you are on Snap Chat, Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn, but don’t do any of them well. Personally, I am only on two platforms. I am on LinkedIn and work it daily like most would Facebook. It is my primary platform because I am in business. I am also on Twitter because it is a great medium for sharing quick hits and followers for speaking engagements and conferences. But I know I cannot add a third platform. I just don’t have the time to manage it well.

• I spend time on LinkedIn daily, several times a day. I post articles, my TMC, and share and “like” other content on the site which puts me in front of my contacts and shares what I find valuable to my network.

• When I invite someone to link to me on LinkedIn and they accept, I make sure that I send them a personal email of thanks saying how I look forward to being connected. No, I don’t just set a pre-programmed message; I send a personalized message. In fact, when I invite them to join me, I do not use the stock programmed invitation from LinkedIn. Every invitation is personalized to them and lets them know why I would like to connect.

• When someone invites me to join them on LinkedIn, I check out their profile. As long as they are not a realtor or MLM person, I am likely to accept. My criteria are simple and twofold. If, at some point down the road, I think they can help me, my business, a friend, or client of mine, then I will accept. I accept now, hoping to build a relationship, and if I ever need them, I will be able to reach out. The second criterion is if I feel I can help them. Quite often, this latter approach is why I accept a lot of people. If I feel my company can help them, or perhaps they are transitioning in the business world and I may be a mentor to them or assist a younger person to get rolling, then I accept. If I feel I can possibly be of value to the person at some point, then I accept.

• When I accept an invitation, I don’t just click “I accept.” I send a personalized note of thanks for the invitation and let them know I am here if they need anything. Interestingly enough, one person invited me to join her on LinkedIn. I accepted, and then sent a note which included a comment such as “if I can ever be of help to you or your business, just reach out.” I got a note back saying, “You already have. I never thought to send personalized replies to those who accept my invitations or the invitations I accept. That is great. It really takes social media ‘contacts’ to the next level. Thanks!” So, that is why I do this. People say it is too much work. I think it is an investment in building the true worth of your network and is most valuable.

• What about birthdays? Yes, when I can, I send birthday greetings. I have many people logged in as re-occurring annual reminders in my Outlook. So, on their birthdays (friends, family, clients, peers, etc.), I send a note. It is typically more than just “Happy Birthday.” It is personal. I may even update them on some business we are doing together, or see if they are available for coffee or a call when I am next in their city. I try to do the same on LinkedIn. About a third of my approximately 6,800 connections have included their birth dates in their profiles. As you probably know, LinkedIn lets you know when someone is having a birthday that day. And yes, everyone one them, all 2000+, get a personalized email wishing them happy birthday. Again, it’s a lot of work, but in my world, it’s well worth it. This year alone, I have secured about a dozen meetings (three of which panned out to building proposals and one which closed as a client we are presently working on)! It is about cultivating an existing relationship. That is why you have a network.

• Then there are all the job changes, new positons, change-in-status notices you receive from LinkedIn. I am not as diligent with these as I should be, but I try. I do review all those notices each day. When I can, I send a personalized note. At a minimum, I will “like” or “share” the notification. But I do try and send a personalized note.

Some of my colleagues say, “Heck, that is a lot of work. There is no way I would do all that. It will never pay off.” Au contraire! It has paid off both emotionally and from a business perspective. I have helped many people. That makes me feel good. Also, I have developed a great many relationships that have had a positive effect on my business and the business of my clients. It is well worth the work.

If you really want to maintain an effective network, you need to work. Just because you went to school with Johnny in grade six does not mean he wants to endorse or buy from you, let alone hire you—especially if the last time he heard from you other than a request to join him on LinkedIn was back in grade six! Work your network. Service your contacts or be prepared to lose them to someone who is nurturing them!

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